Fears about tying the knot

Well, as most people already know, I'm engaged. We haven't set a date yet (it's my fault), I'm not very excited because I still have some fears. I have all these things running through my head. It's a big step and I don't know how people just rush into marriage without thinking twice. Don't think that I don't love my boyfriend, because I do.

Here are some of the things that I worry about:

  1. Having a whole life with someone else. A life that could easily be taken away if he decides he just doesn't want to be with me anymore. (Or if he cheats on me, cheating equals the end of the relationship).
  2. I don't know anyone whose 1st marriage didn't end in divorce. If I don't get married, I won't have to worry about getting divorced. (All of the women in my family have been divorced, some more than once. My mom was married twice & she is divorced. Same with my grandma. My dad was married three time.)
  3. Divorce is expensive.
  4. I have a serious problem with trust. I don't know the last time that I've actually trusted a man.

One reason I would choose to marry is that I love my fiance. It's going to be hard for us because we have so many children (separately). Together, we're going to be strapped for cash, but I don't really care about that.

The other big reason that I want to get married is because of this book:

Hmmm, is it that my fears of having a failed marriage, are stronger than my faith in the Lord and wanting to do right? Is it normal to have these fear?

Nita Michelle

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